Tag: successdriven

The End Part 15: The Doors of Perception

“Communication breakdown, it’s always the same
Havin’ a nervous breakdown, a-drive me insane” – Robert Plant, Led Zeppelin

Business is about relationships. That is the bottom line. It really doesn’t matter if you sweep the floors or head the board, everything leads back to relationships. All relationships, whether personal or professional, require communication of some form or another. In my experience, good relationships are built on good communication.

Seems simple, right? My experience also teaches me that it is not always that easy. In fact, it can be one of the hardest parts of any relationship. Communication provides information for all sides of a relationship. We, as rational and sentient creatures, use the information that we have to make decisions, formulate opinions, and take actions. Information is not created equal but our minds will do with it what it will based on what have access to or have been provided at the time.

It’s a pretty simple equation; bad information = bad thoughts and opinions and bad thoughts/opinions = bad decisions and actions. Simple equation but hard to follow. Why? Because we do not always know that the information we have is incorrect or limited. How many times have you been given some information that was not the entire story? Did you form an opinion or even take an action based on the information that you later regretted? I think we have all done that. I bet most of us have even looked back in hindsight after receiving the “rest of the story” and realized that we would have taken a different course of action had we had all the information at the time.

The real questions is have we learned from these lapses in judgment? Have we learned to verify the information we have before making major a decision and saying or doing things we later regret? I have. Don’t get wrong, I am not saying I do this all the time but more often than not, I pause and take time to evaluate the information and situation before I react. This allows me to respond accordingly. I must admit I have only learned this by doing the wrong thing over and over.

In the last part I discussed how the prospective buyers had gone silent. That led us to think they lost interest. Further, that one of the main communicators in this deal on our side had pushed a bit too hard and closed the door. The reality was there was a miscommunication. We thought one thing and they thought another. They were waiting on something from us and we were for something from them. We were locked in a holding pattern on different pages. The good news is we cleared things up and got back on the same page and have moved closer to finalizing a deal.

Communication is the key. Without having good information, or providing good information, the human mind is left to fill in the empty spaces. In my experience, I have often filled those spaces with “worst case” type of information. That usually does not end well for any party involved. If you want to build something great in business or your personal life, focus on your relationships and strengthen them with good communication.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

BRAIN EATERS Part 2: The Mind Killers

” We’ve got nothing to fear but fear itself.” – Neil Peart / Gary Lee / Alex Zivojinovich, RUSH

There are all different kinds of brain eaters; some are negative and some are positive. Life is full of the good, the bad, and the ugly and so is my head. I prefer to get the bad and the ugly out of the way first. I call these the mind killers; fear, judgment, and resentment. As you read those three words I am sure you can think of more that you can add to the list. Of course, I can too, but I am distilling them all down to the core or root of each one. We can often put different labels on our thoughts and actions but if we really peel the layers and get to the core, many of them belong in the same bucket.

Are any of these words worse than the other? I think that really depends on who you ask, and probably when you ask them. Some people might have stronger opinions on one than the other. Others might be impacted themselves by one more than the other, and yet another person’s mind might be more consumed by one than another. In my experience they all seem to feed the other but throughout my life, fear and resentment have been in a constant title match for the belt. I think fear might have squeezed by and pulled out the victory.

That said, I will start at the bottom of my mind with judgment. Judgment used to occupy a large part of my mind.  Every time I entered a new environment or someone entered mine I started judging. I would start picking them apart, sizing them up, and assassinating their character. I would do this for both people I knew and didn’t know.  As I have grown older and, hopefully wiser, I no longer practice judgment like I used to. I have learned to accept people for who they are; including myself whom is often the hardest person to be non-judgmental about. When I assess my own judgments of others, they are usually based on my pride or ego. I am feeling insecure, less than, or judged myself so I judge others to bring myself up. I think it is human nature and our natural instinct for survival and security to assess and evaluate our environments. I believe judgment is simply taking that natural instinct to an extreme.

Resentment rears its ugliness in so many ways, disguised with so many masks. Sometimes subtle and sometimes intense, but always negative. Outward anger or rage is obviously negative, but the quiet, subtle bitterness, indignation, animosity, hatred and the like are often hard to detect and see their full scope of damage. It is often that quiet festering that leads to the loud or violent outbursts. That has been my experience with resentment. In the past I have allowed it to fester, almost receiving a twisted satisfaction from the silent scorn. In the end if not dealt with and erased those outbursts would come and were never fun. But my mind is the great manipulator. As resentment eats my brain I allow it to grow and fester and I find a way to justify it all.

The root of it all in my own mind is fear. Fear is the one with many names and faces. Whether we call it worry, doubt, fright, terror, panic, dread, to name a few, it grips us and takes control. Brain eaters feed on fear and fear feeds resentment and judgment. Once fear takes control the vicious cycle begins.  When I am resentful or judgmental, I usually discover that it is really fear masquerading about. Something externally has tapped an internal fear and has been projected outward as anger or judgment. This is after the fact, of course, as I analyze and process everything.  Have you ever walked into a strange room, afraid of what the people might think? Afraid they will judge you, so you instantly go on the defense and start judging them? That judgment is justified because your fear has convinced you they are judging you, and thus you become resentful; a big, ugly cycle.

The voices of fear, resentment, and judgment feed my mind like the devil on my shoulder; these are the three negative brain eaters that occupy my mind.  Not as much as they used to because I have found ways to deal with them as they crop up (stick around for the entire series to learn how I do so). I no longer allow fear to consume me to the point that it takes my mind and body hostage. I no longer allow resentment to fester and dictate my behavior. I no longer allow judgment to be my first line of defense. Do I still fear, resent, and judge? Absolutely, I am human.

Today I try not to allow them to eat my brain and control my thoughts and actions. Nor do I deny or justify them, I simply acknowledge them and do what is necessary to clear my mind and work through them.

And, when the brain eaters start to gain control, I stop feeding them and I write it out or I grab a coffee with a friend, mentor, or coach and share the secret and sort it out because the brain eaters’ biggest weapon is isolation.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W. @Leap272
Owner – Operator

You have to leap if you want to live.

BRAIN EATERS Part 1: Introduction

“The brain is wider than the sky.” –  Emily Dickinson

Going to the left. Going to the right.
Do this, do that. No, not that.
The voices, the voices, won’t you stop?
Fill my head with constant thought.
he chatter, the banter.
How many of you are inside?

What eats your brain? Hopefully not the creatures that attack the mind, turning you into zombies like the classic film of 1958. But does something? Please say yes as I don’t want to be alone. Of course, I’m never alone with all the voices in my head, but I want more. It’s just not the same.

In this series I am not writing a science fiction horror bit. I am going to let you inside my brain a bit and share what eats at my brain. Take you inside the world of an overactive, entrepreneurial mind. Not too far, though; I don’t want you to get trapped my Land of the Lost in Space.

For me, there is always something eating my brain; good, bad, indifferent it’s always something. Maybe it’s a Pisces thing, maybe an introvert thing, but it definitely a me thing. I have always been quiet on the outside and louder than life on the inside. I am usually the quietest one the room making the most noise; all in my head. I am always thinking, processing, creating, evaluating, writing, playing…Humming riffs, creating riffs, writing songs, writing poems, thinking up headlines and ad copy…Creating strategies, marketing material, benefit bullets, ad infinitum.

The activity just accelerates during a time like the present. As I write this sentence we are ten days into August of 2020 which will definitely become a standout year in the history books, or wherever history is documented in the future. This has been quite a year to date, but the biggest event has been the coronavirus pandemic by far.

We have had mandates, legislative orders, and martial law. We have been quarantined, forced to wear masks, and left toilet paper-less. This is a year for the books indeed. How about we make it an election as well. That really throws fire on the flame. The point is, with so much extraordinary external events in the world today, my brain is ripe to eat me alive.

It does make for some great content. However, if I can just capture it and find a good way to package and deliver it. So much of this activity happens while driving, riding, running, or walking, and most has vanished by the time I get somewhere to write anything down. Maybe I am just forgetful but I believe that these brain eaters have cannibalistic tendencies. Thanks to voice memo apps I can stop and record my thoughts and ideas anywhere. The problem is, most of the time I am so consumed with the brain eaters that I forget to do that. But, successful entrepreneurs are not focused on problems, they are interested in solutions

Don’t leave the table just yet; the next tasty course is on its way…
You don’t want to miss this tasty little treat.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W. @Leap272
Owner-operator

You have to leap if you want to live.