Tag: mindset

COME TO REALIZE Part 2: Expect The Unexpected

“And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?” – David Byrne

How did I get here? I often ponder that question; sometimes in wonderment, sometimes in shock, sometimes in frustration, sometimes in regret, and sometimes in utter satisfaction and contentment. The latter is the most rare yet most fulfilling. Nearly five decades, nine businesses, well ten if you count the one I literally registered yesterday with my son because he is not an adult yet. There have been so many events that have transpired that triggers that question during times of reflection.

There have been so many great lessons from these various reflections. Although the times of frustration, disappointment, and regret are my least favorite they tend to yield some of the most powerful lessons for me. When I can weather the storm and make it through the darkness to the other side the rewards are great. It seems to be a universal principle that the times of greatest pain and difficulty produce the greatest pay off if one can endure and make it through.

I have certainly had my share of such difficult times. Some I have weathered well, others I have not. Some I have learned a valuable lesson the first time, most however, I have had to endure and repeat several times to really grasp anything positive that I could carry forward.

So, how did I get here and what did I come to realize? Just as in part one, I am not going for the deep dive here just looking back for a general lesson that can be applied to a variety of contexts. For me that is to expect the unexpected. I have shared in many of my articles that I am a Pisces and have the imagination and daydreaming tendencies of one. I can plan, prepare, and envision how everything is going to end up in my head yet it seldom does. Sometimes the end result is so far off I have no choice but to stop and ask myself “how did I get here?”

Well, here I am; business number two, which is travel related, is on life support as a result of the corona virus pandemic. Business number nine which was purchased by business number three last August is alive and surviving the best it can consider the circumstances. The other handful of active business are alive, they are more investment businesses that require minimal day to day effort so have suffered very little.

As far as number ten goes, time will tell as it is not even 24 hours old yet. I can only hope that I can impart some of the wisdom I have learned from own mistakes onto Nolan as he follows the path of Kerry and I into the world of entrepreneurship. The best I can do for him is to not project any of my past or any of my stubborn opinions and control onto him and simply expect the unexpected from him. Let him do his thing and offer support and guidance upon request. There are more ways than my way to do things and standing in the back and watching is not always my strong suit. I guess I need to expect the unexpected from myself as well.

To close, the lesson for me is that I can only put in my best effort today. I have no control over how things will unfold tomorrow. As long as I can let go the expectations I have of the outcome and put forth my personal best, then I am in a good position to succeed no matter what end result is. I can plan and prepare all day long until the sun don’t shine, but things are going to happen the way they happen despite my best efforts. Sometimes you just have to hope for the best and plan for the worst.  That way excess disappointment is removed from the equation.

Hmm, another lesson I have come to realize?

Stick around to find out.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

COME TO REALIZE: 1 Self Awareness

“Enjoy your midnight snack at 10.” – Me

I simply do not function well after midnight. I don’t exactly turn into a pumpkin but my brain turns to mush much like the inside of one. This is just one important thing I have come to realize about myself while navigating the labyrinth of life.

I have had many “aha” moments in my life; countless epiphanies, hard lessons, realizations, growth lessons, whatever you want to call them. If I had to pick the most important I don’t think I could. But if it was a gun to my head decision it would be a two part answer; One, that if I do not implement anything learned from those “lessons” then they mean nothing and, two, if I don’t share the lessons with others they mean even less. They simply become another forgotten thought, cast away to the deep, dark, dusty crevices of my brain.

Back to the opening quote. What does it really mean and what is the true essence of the lesson? It means I am not a night owl so I shouldn’t stay up that late and more importantly, schedule important late night meetings or events. The reality is I am not sure how many people actually do that. In the businesses I participate in, it is not very common, although there are some events that can run into the wee hours. I might not have to use my brain but I do have to participate in these situations and hold important conversations.

In my experience, the later I travel into the night the worse my social skills become and my patience and tolerance begins to wear thin. That is the important realization here; when I become tired I become anti-social, impatient, intolerant, and irritable. That is not the winning combination for anything good that I know of. As a result, I become much more reactive to my environment and the things people do and say. The best course of action for me is to avoid these situations to the best of my ability.

Peeling another layer and boiling it down even more, it really comes down to self awareness; knowing myself well enough to avoid situations in which I will not act as my normal professional or social self. Okay, truth be, told I am not that social as it is, but you get what I’m saying. Of course, this applies well beyond late night social or business situations.

What is self awareness? Is it a personality trait? A skill? A behavior? Oh, and aren’t there different types or levels? I don’t want to do a deep dive here and get all scientific and psychological so let’s just stick with it being a skill for our purposes here.

Self awareness is such an important skill to help us navigate life and the various decisions we make and the situations and circumstances we find ourselves in. Perhaps its most important function is to really help us discover and follow our calling. It is so easy to get swept up in the race to become the master of anything that will propel you to the top of whatever ladder you are climbing; rewarding you with endless riches, book deals and master classes that will expedite your journey to retirement. Until all the smoke clears and you are left looking at your confused, unhappy reflection in the mirror. This isn’t what I signed up for!

Follow your instincts and learn to know yourself. Get quiet and discover who you truly are. Self awareness will lead you to your what and why.   

Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

THE THREE KINGS #19: OPEN – PRESENT – PATIENT

May 5, 2020

The Three Kings are simply three things, assets, skills, characteristics, principles, and so forth that I find important on some level. The series or feature is meant to be a short read of easily digestible information that hopefully provides some value and actionable concepts that you can apply to some aspect of your life or business.

The content is inspired and influenced by my own personal experience in life and my career as a business owner. They are three things that have helped or hindered me through my life and career. I have written many of these but I am posting this one first, out of order because of the unprecedented times we are in right now. These pieces are not necessarily meant to be sequential by any means anyway. How coincidental is it that this is number 19? Interesting.

Without further ado, here is the first, non-sequential installment of The Three Kings.

Here are the three things that keep coming up for me during this time of the Covid-19 crisis.

OPEN-MINDED:
When this crisis first hit and Idaho was advised to stay at home I was immediately consumed by fear. Optimism, trust, faith, and other things needed to make it through tough times cannot co-exist with fear. When fear takes over the others are absent. I have experienced this over and over in my life and thought that I had learned my lesson, but apparently I have more to learn. I’ll give myself a break as this is an unprecedented situation

Regardless, I have found that I have to be open to new ideas and different ways to run my business. If I choose to stay in fear and let it dictate my thoughts and actions I will be very unproductive and negative. There is no room for a solution without an open mind. For example, at the pie shop, we had to be open to a new way of doing business because the old way was no longer an option. We lost all of our dine-in lunch service which is a significant part of our revenue. We quickly began offering takeout and delivery of course, but we also began focusing on dinner by creating meal packages centering on our savory pies. That has saved us.

PRESENT:
Problems only exist in the present and solutions only work in the present. Of course problems can last for a long time and solutions can and should be created and implemented to address the future, but that is always unknown. Solutions can only be created and implemented today so that is where I must focus the majority of my efforts. Future tripping only perpetuates a state of fear so I try to practice being present as much as possible.

PATIENT:
If you know me or have read any of my content I am sure you know I am a naturally impatient person. I love instant gratification. Fortunately, I have learned that instant gratification is often short-lived. Real progress and sustainable growth takes time as does working through a crisis. The strategy to navigate through the current crisis does not instantly cure all the negative effects, it takes time.

Our dinner strategy we created for the pie shop took time to create and execute and it took time to start yielding results. It is currently keeping our doors open and for that I am grateful, but I do not know what the future holds. I am sure that a crisis like this will have some long term effects so we will have to practice all three of today’s kings today in the present to prepare for the unknown that lies ahead.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

Short Sale

“Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and they underestimate what they can do in two or three decades.” – Tony Robbins

Ready. Set. Go!…CRASH!

How often have I set out with great intentions to work toward my auspicious goals. Hour after hour, day after day burning the midnight oil well beyond the strike of midnight to accomplish the impossible. But don’t tell me that. Nothing is impossible. I can do whatever I set out to do. I can be whatever I want to be. I just need to apply myself and go for it. My mother told me so.

Well, how true is that? Would if I want to be a Nigerian prince, could I? There seems to be so many, it must not be that hard to become.

I am sure it is true, with limitations, however. I can be and do many things but I believe there are limitations beyond my control. Some things take more than hard work and dedication to accomplish. There are many factors that can legitimately fill that side of the column; genetics, government, laws, and living environment, to name few. I could continue the list but there is a fine line between the columns and an even finer line in our thinking and judgment of what we put on each side.

I have no desire to discuss what we claim to be holding us back and preventing us from attaining our goals. When I see a long list in the right side of the column, the holding me back side or the beyond my control side, I begin to believe that they are really just excuses.  I am more interested in discovering how we move beyond those and move them to the left side column where they are converted into assets that make us stronger.

The truth for me when I look back to reflect on my journey, the opening quote by Tony Robbins is so true. I totally overestimate what I can do in the short term. That can be a year, a month, a week, or even a day. Just placing this in the context of a to-do list holds true. No big life changing goals I’m trying to accomplish, just a simple daily task list. I never cross everything off.  When I look back five to ten years and compare where I am to where I thought I would be, I am often further. Yet when I look assess my six month goal I often find myself short of the mark.

Why is it? Am I too ambitious in the present and short term? Is the future just too far out and unknown to really imagine what can be accomplished? Are there too many daily obstacles that steer me off course in the short term? Am I just too lazy?

Maybe it’s a mix of all the above. What I have learned for me is that the more I leave uncrossed on my list, the more discouraged I become. As an owner and operator, there is always unfinished business. There are always things to do and as one thing is completed another to-do materializes. It’s just the nature of running a business. What I need to do is learn to not become discouraged or overwhelmed, and for me, the key is acceptance.

Acceptance that time is the scarcest asset. Acceptance that everything is never done. Acceptance that the quote above is true. Acceptance that I am good enough. Acceptance that I’ve sold myself short, again.

The really lesson for me is that I am good enough, it’s the goal that is not. Failure is part of the learning process. In the short term I am overzealous and in the long term I don’t give my ability enough respect. Time is a tricky thing. Ten years seems an eternity and a year seems like more than enough but appears in a blink of an eye. So, being good enough only matters in the present. I can’t be good enough ten years from now and what was good enough yesterday might not be today.

Regardless of where in time I place my checkpoint or finish line, the steps that get me there are taken today. Therefore, the essence of this lesson for me is to learn to live, and work, in the present because when I become too caught up with time, goals, and those never ending to-do lists,  I miss out on life and  sell myself short.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

The Art of Social Distancing: Part 4, Distant Early Warning

What does any of this have to do with anything? How does this fit at all? What does this even have to do with social distancing as we are coming to understand it in 2020?  What am I even writing about?

Just a few of the questions circling the squirrel cage since I started writing this series. Which, by the way, began with the intention of being a single piece. The reality is, the creative juices have not been flowing as usual. You would think ideas would be flowing like a class five river right now. Not the case. At least not for writing. I am turning out pieces at a snail’s pace.

I am not even delivering very much content at all. My regular posting schedule has come to a halt, my story posts and updates have come to a halt, and my daily reports have come to a halt. This is an unfrequented time ripe with inspiration yet I am not channeling it as I usually would. My head tells me I should be pumping out content like crazy right now. I should be documenting what we are doing as a business o get through this unprecedented time but all I get is a blank screen, blank paper, no tape rolling. Wow, did I just age myself there?

I do blame part of it on the pie shop. When we started on this new venture it really turned my schedule upside down. The truth is, that is just an excuse. Entrepreneurs need to be flexible and adaptable. New schedule? No problem, I will l move my writing time to this part of the day. I will exercise in the evening  and I will record my videos between x & x. That is how one must adapt to changing environments. If I am too rigid I will break.

The good news is, the juices are still flowing, just in a different direction right now. I am coming up with endless ideas for the pie shop. One recipe after another. New product here, new strategy there, so many that I forget most before I have a chance to write them down. That is just about par for the course. I forget more thoughts, ideas, poems, products; you name it, than I ever remember. Most of which come to me during one of my social distancing practices of running or bike riding. They come and they go all before I return home with a chance to write them down.

All this brings to mind so many questions. Questions about our current situations, questions about our response as a country, our response as citizens, our response as individuals, questions about our past, and questions about our future. So many questions and so many more. Too many questions for one mind to ponder.

But I guess the most important question is will we learn from this? Will I learn from this? Will we heed this as a warning to be better prepared in the future. Will we take this as a warning to live better today? Will we take this as a warning to become a stronger country? A stronger people?

The reality is I can’t answer these for others or predict how the world, the US or our citizens, and elected officials will act or respond. I can’t answer what anyone else will learn from this and carry into tomorrow. I can only speak for myself. And the truth is, I don’t know.

Of course, I hope I will learn from all this. I hope I will start doing the things today that will better prepare and safeguard me, my family, my businesses, and all the things I truly care about for what might happen in the future. Not an excessive, obsessive doomsday preparation but at least have basic safeguards and plans in place. You can’t plan for everything.

I hope I will start documenting more today to have more to share tomorrow. To have more ideas shared than lost in the squirrel cage. I hope most of all that this will serve as, yet another, distant early warning that we never know what the future holds. That life is fragile and precious. That all we ever really have is life in this moment.

Can I learn to be present each moment and live my life with purpose and meaning when the panic recedes? When the fear subsides? When life as we know it, or knew it, returns? Will life ever return to normal? Can I learn to live every day as me? Just me, not worrying about what others think? Not worrying about my shyness? Not judging you or wondering if you’re judging me? See? More questions. Sometimes I simply think too much.

I can end this by saying life has been good the last couple week despite the circumstances. Why? Because I let the fear come and I let it go without taking a hold of me. I stopped worrying about everything and began accepting that this how it is right now. I decided to accept life on life’s terms, stop fighting or forcing it, and live in the moment.

Can I carry it forward? Time will tell, one moment at a time.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

The Art of Social Distancing: Part 3, Going The Distance

The real question is, can I go the distance? The cliché is true; life is a marathon, not a sprint. Can I maintain a positive pace of no judgment where I truly do not care what you think of me? Can I maintain a head space free of judgment toward myself and others? Probably not.

Why? Because I am human. I am imperfect. Perfectly imperfect as my mom says. I am in a constant race to get ahead of the competition. Constantly finding the path of least resistance in order to out do, out pace, and out last so I can cross the finish line first. Therein lies the foundation for my judgment.

I am surrounded by everyone else in the race. When I’m falling behind it’s easier to look outward and judge others than look at myself. Accountability is no fun. If I look at myself, I might see something I don’t want to see. It’s easier to say “Look at that one with the fancy shoes and matching outfit, what a clown.” “Look at him, he runs like a chicken.” It’s easier to say, “These shoes are slowing me down.” When I am passing people it’s easy to pat myself on the back to inflate my ego. Most of the time I am constantly racing to find the happy place. When I feel less than or judged, I do not feel happy. Projecting that back on you lifts me up and propels me closer to my happy place, or so I thought.

The reality is that most of what I judge you for is the very things I dislike in myself. Although, oftentimes I don’t even realize it, mirrors do a great job of reflecting the image of a stranger. The people that bother me and bottleneck my race are the mirrors displaying all the things I need to work on. Of course, I’d rather not admit that, it’s much easier to just judge you. Until it isn’t.  

At this point in the race I have crossed the halfway marker. I am inside the final half of my journey. I have learned through the process that the more you do something the easier it becomes. I have found this equally true for both positive and negatives behaviors. The more I judged, the easier it became. Eventually that judgment becomes a natural behavior that no longer requires rationalization or justification. It simply becomes a seamless part of my standard behavioral patterns.

Until you find yourself alone in the race. There are no more competitors. No more mirrors. No more people to judge, or blame except for yourself. You stand alone. The only way back is to dig deep and see where you went wrong. Implement change and correct course. This half of the race is all about fine tuning, honing, and perfecting what has been learned. Suddenly the mirrors reappear and on the good days, the person looking back is not a stranger, it is exactly who you strive to be.

I really do still prefer to socially distance myself and limit my outside world interactions. As I shared in the previous part, it’s not because I am a jerk. I am just more of a home body that doesn’t do well with small talk and socializing. I like to read, write, run, ride, work in the garden, and just hang out at home and be. Although I do have quite a hard time sitting still. I am a doer, just not a big talker.

However, in life we do not always get to do what we selfishly want. I have learned art of compromise to participate more and be a part of. I have learned to be gentler on myself and others. I have learned to accept myself and others. Of course I revert, I am only human, but the question I posed in the opening is still top of mind; can I go the distance? Only time will tell. All I can do is my best, one day at a time.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live