Tag: BusinessCoach

Ramble On, 1.6.2022

A skill or talent left unused atrophies…

This has been my recurring thought of the year thus far, haunting my mind daily. That is why you are reading it. I have a very active mind an imagination. The squirrel cage in my head is usually in hyper drive with a full crew of monkeys surrounding it at all times.

Writing is a great way to get the noise out of my mind and slow things down. I do this every day. I have been doing it every day for a very long time. I just haven’t shared, posted, or published it every day. There really in no need to. Much of what I scribble is nonsense, simply random thoughts that need to be released from the cage to relieve some pressure between my ears.

Every once in a while, however, a thought emerges in my writing that I think others might need or want to hear. That said, I decided on New Year’s Day that I would start sharing some of these ramblings for a couple of reasons. One, because some of these thoughts might be just what someone needs to hear. And two, because I do not want my wiring muscles to atrophy as the opening thought suggests.

I am by no means asserting that I have any skill or talent in writing, but I do love to write and improvement and mastery comes with practice. I write often but the regularity in both writing and posting has dwindled over the last two years. I do believe that I have many years of experience in life and business and have some thoughts that many can find value in to assist along their own journey. With that, I thank you for being my victims and I hope I am able to help.

I plan to make the “Ramble On” feature short and sweet, sharing simple thoughts that I think will provide value to others. I do not plan to do this daily, but a few times a week to start as long as the inspiration fuels me. Don’t worry, I will do my best to refrain from sharing the chaotic, mumbo jumbo swirling my brain from the arguing monkeys and squirrels.

To close, the second half of the opening thought is that an unused skill or talent also deprives the world of gifts. When you leave a skill or talent in your tool chest to collect dust, not only does it wither away, it also deprives the world of the gifts you have to share. You never know who needs to receive what you have to offer.

Make 2022 the year you open up your chest, dust off the contents, and take that leap to share your gifts.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

Can I Say…Something On That Mark Cuban?

“Success is about making your life a special kind of unique that fits who you are – not what other people want you to be” – Mark Cuban

This might be one of the greatest definitions of success I have ever heard. I often struggle with the word success. Not only in terms of how I measure and define my own success but also how others will judge my success, or failure for that matter. Not that I look to others to justify or qualify my success, but I often find myself wondering if people will read and consume my content.  Will they buy my book, if I ever get around to finishing it? Will they hire me as consultant or coach?

The simple question there is to ask will people deem me successful enough to become a client, follower, or fan. I am obviously not a celebrity chef or founder of a fortune 500 company. I am simply the entrepreneur next door that has quietly started and run a handful of businesses for more than two decades. Is that enough? Will the simple fact that publishing a book, assuming aging that I get around to it, be enough to whisper “success” the in the ears of prospects?

Many people define success by something that is easily quantified. How much money have they made? How many tangible assets do they have? The reality is it doesn’t matter how much you make, it’s how much you get to keep! I am not broke, but I am not super rich either. I have a nice home and drive a nice truck, that’s about it. I am not into fancy clothes or jewelry and I buy most of my clothes on sale. I usually have one or two pairs of brand new shoes in my closet because I try to buy them when they are on sale or during buy on get one specials. That said, I do love watches, although my most expensive is probably around $200. One day when I feel like treating myself, I will pick out a watch I really like and buy it regardless of the price tag.

The point is that we all have the privilege to define our own success. We get to personally decide what success means for us. I have been my own boss for over twenty years now. I have started or have helped start many businesses. Many have crashed and burned, some are still in their infancy, while others are still plugging away. The reality is, it only takes one. I have gained a level of freedom and flexibility in my life and that is what I call success. I am able to work, and do the things I love to do, mostly, when I want to do them.

Success is being happy and living life on the “unique” terms you define. Thanks Mark!

Talk Soon,

Kevin W.
@Leap272

You have to leap if you want to live.

To Defy The Laws Of Tradition Part #4: Radioactive Chocolate

“If you’re trying to create a company, it’s like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion.” – Elon Musk.

The excitement. The anticipation. It’s killing me. I feel like a like I am a kid again waking up on Christmas morning, running down the hall to the fireplace to see what Santa brought this year. Did he get my list? Did he get me what I REALLY wanted?

I can smell the sweet aroma the all the ingredients coming together in my new masterpiece. The timer buzzes, indicating it is time to check my cake. I open the oven…disappointment consumes me just as it did my seventeen year old self gazing at the empty space surrounding the fireplace. My cake didn’t rise properly. It has a deep, ugly crater in the center just like the hole in my seventeen year old self. No amount of icing can correct this.

Don’t judge, I still believe in Santa Claus. 1989 was a crazy year, there was a lot going on in the world then and there was probably a glitch that landed me on the naughty list. But again, that is another story.

Mr Elon Musk is right, creating a company and a cake both require very specific ingredients in the right amount to be successful. I know, I have done both many times and some have not worked out so well when I didn’t follow certain rules. I would also add that the ingredients need to be introduced and incorporated in the proper order for success. Timing is important. For example, you probably do not need a customer service employee or department before you have products or a salesperson to sell them. Spending money on unneeded employees can be disastrous for a new business.

The same goes for baking. I can have all the right ingredients I need set out and ready to go but if I start just throwing them into a mixing bowl with no thought of how or when they should be incorporated I am just asking for trouble.

If you have read the rest of this series or any of my other pieces you should be able to guess that I do not like to follow rules much. That doesn’t always work out in specific types of baking. In a lot of cooking, improvisation can work quite well, except, of course, when someone asks “what did you do to make this so moist?” Uhhh, I don’t remember. I am great at throwing meals together and working with what ingredients I have available; my weakness is remembering exactly what I did so that the dish is repeatable with consistent results. This is important when you move from family dinner to restaurant production. Customers expect consistency in the products they consume.

I love creating. I love improvising. That is why I studied blues and jazz when I was playing music. Jam sessions were my favorite. We would get a group of friends and fellow musicians together and make music together on the fly. Ahh, but when I dive deep and really think about those jam sessions there were certain rules that needed to be followed in order for it all to work out. Simple, basic rules but rules nonetheless. Each instrument had to be tuned properly; the musicians had to play in the same key within the same time signature, for example. If we didn’t follow those basic rules, the music would not work out like the flat cake that never rose.

These basic rules are the fundamentals and the foundation on which to build. These have to be learned, mastered, and followed. When they are, they simply become second nature and do not create that boxed in feeling that many rules tend to do. They allow me to explore my creativity and still produce consumable pieces on my way to a masterpiece. If I didn’t practice the fundamentals much of what I create would not be satisfactory.

When I am baking I must know when to follow and when to deviate and improvise. This can be done within the same recipe once those fundamentals are truly second nature. Know when to use cold fats instead of melted or softened fats. Know when cook over high or low heat. Know when to beat them and when to fold them. It’s all about the framework. Once I have the framework for a basic type of cake I want to make, I can improvise with the flavors, shape, size, frostings etc. Because, as long as I have the batter that will bake I can bake in a variety of textures and flavors. Once all has risen I can present the final product in my own creative way. That is how to bring it all together and improvise within the constructs of a baking formula and know how to bend the rules without breaking them

The lesson for me was that I can’t always do it my way without the guidance of a recipe. The reality is that there is a lot of science behind baking and science always wins. Trust me; I have learned this the hard way. When I don’t follow the basics I often end up with radioactive chocolate…no one wants to eat that.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

To Defy The Laws Of Tradition Part #3: Man In The Box

“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.” – Douglas MacArthur

Don’t put me in a box. I don’t like small spaces. I get claustrophobic, anxious and I panic. I don’t like elevators and will take the stairs whenever possible. I don’t particularly like planes, trains, or automobiles, except for the movie, of course. Oh wait, this is not literally about being put inside a physical box? Why am I asking you? I am the author.

No, this is not about being put inside a physical box. This is about a categorical, metaphorical, organizational box. Do not put me in one of those either. I don’t want your labels. I don’t want your titles. And, most importantly, I don’t want your rules. If you would like, give me a box that I can throw all your rules and other crap into and set it afire. Or, as Jello Biafra would say “Why don’t you take your social regulations, shove ’em up your @$$?”

The question I have is does the opening quote speak the truth or is it actually the opposite and simply a justification for the lazy to do whatever they want and not follow the rules? I think there is probably a strong argument for both sides. I will argue in support of the quote because I do not like to follow the rules and believe that creativity should not be placed in a box or confined by rules. That said, I will admit that I do have a lazy bone that takes over now and again.

I was always pretty creative. My generation had to be in order to avoid death by boredom. Don’t get me wrong, there were a lot of great technological inventions when I was younger but we did not have smart phones, 24/7 streaming TV, social media, or the internet among many other things. What we did have was the outdoors, skateboards, bikes, big wheels, green machines, Star Wars figures, toy guns, and most of all, imagination. If I couldn’t go outside for whatever reason, I was daydreaming of being outside, on another planet, in another galaxy flying x-wing fighters or playing music on stage in front of a sea of people.

That imagination carried over and fueled my creativity when I began to play music, write, and later when I began cooking. Music will always be my first love and passion but my career was very short lived. I will save those details for another story and jump to cooking because that is what I do professionally as I write this.

I always loved food, especially junk food. Cookies were always my favorite. I am not sure where my love of cooking started but food was always an integral part of our family tradition whether it was a holiday, birthday, or just a Sunday dinner with family. I also have a hard time pinpointing when I first started to enjoy cooking, although the first things I remember learning to cook were eggs and sandwiches. Maybe that is why one of my favorite things to do is put an egg on a sandwich.

Growing up, my go to items were creative sandwiches, a variety of cookies, milkshakes, and eventually grilling. Fast forward to when Kerry and I had our second child, I was working at home and ended up watching a lot of cooking shows. That led to a lot of experimentation and my repertoire just exploded. That said, our family has a long standing tradition of marathon Christmas baking that just began to roll in to other holidays. We made so much there was just too much to even eat. The large variety was partially fueled by my desire to try new flavors of fudge and create new cookies with different ingredients. My oldest sister did the same with cookies and rocky road.

During all of this, I started trying to cook new dishes, then entire meals with accompaniments that paired well together. I always started by following recipes. Once I became comfortable, however, I broke out of the box. I can honestly attribute part to being lazy. I simply did not want to pull out a cook book and take the time to follow it step by step every time I made a meal or baked cookies. The other reason was I just did not want to be confined to follow and prepare another person’s dish. I wanted to create my own. It is important to note that by this time in my life my musical outlet was absent for many years but the creativity was still there and needed an outlet. Cooking is one of the areas in my life that provide a release.

As the years passed and I became more and more passionate and more and more confident, I continued to break the molds of convention and defy the laws of cooking tradition. Am I saying I am unique and created everything on my own? No. I was inspired by many chefs, besides, most things have been done already. Yes, I did come up with many things on my own and put my unique twist others. It doesn’t really matter because I am not looking for credit or doing this for accolades. I am doing this first and foremost because I love to create unique foods and share them with others.

My menu and cooking continues to evolve and I continue to ask the question “why?” Why must it be done like this? Why can’t I put these flavors together? Why hasn’t anybody made this type of pie? Or, how can I create this or that? How can I make something people will never forget? How can my food provide an experience that will never be forgotten and add joy to someone’s journey? I will tell you how. By breaking out of the box and continuing to defy the laws of tradition. By continuing to create flavor profiles that top the taste charts. I am blessed with the perfect vehicle for experimentation; I own a restaurant. Nothing fancy, it is a small bakeshop and eatery, but provides the much needed creative outlet.

In my humble restaurant where I am constantly defying the laws of tradition, I am bringing back the long standing traditions of my family by adapting old recipes from family and friends for our menu at the shop. Also, buy learning when traditions and rules must be followed and I have to stay inside the lines. I do not like to do this, but some things must be done just as they have been laid out in recipes for centuries with precision if I want an edible product for my customers. I have learned this the hard way by trying to do certain things on my own when I really needed to follow a precise formula.

See you next time when I discuss getting back in to the box to follow certain rules. It hurts but the results are delicious.

Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

To Defy The Laws Of Tradition Part 2: Rock and Roll Rebel

“If it’s illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!” – Kurt Cobain

I have been rebellious lately with my writing. Meaning, I haven’t posted for a while because I just haven’t had the spark. I feel like I have been in limbo with the open ended series, “The End”, about the closure of Go-Go Babyz. I haven’t officially sold the business so I f=don’t have a final installment to write for the series. It’s quite frustrating. I have slid a post in here and there but nothing consistent and everything has felt a bit off so I just sat back and hid in the shadows of my mind, creating and contemplating as I often do. But now I must rebel against my reclusive mind and write. So here is part two of the series I started a couple months ago.  

They say rock and roll is for the rebellious; the outcasts, misfits, degenerates, fill in the blank with any degrading adjective. They also say you can’t kill rock and roll. I don’t know who “they” are, but I agree, you can’t kill rock and roll. It’s true, “rock and roll can never die” Neil Young said it himself.

Rock and Roll is a pretty broad term covering so many different genres and styles ranging from R&B, funk, punk, hard rock, soft rock, shock rock, classic rock, and even heavy metal. Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister, often referred to as the godfather of heavy metal, would introduce Motorhead at their shows by saying “we’re Motorhead and we play rock and roll.”  That is some hard ass rock and roll music, and I love it.

I grew up with music all around me; Neil Diamond, John Denver and all sorts of weird stuff that just didn’t do it for me. It was just background noise. What did do it for me were the sounds of Led Zeppelin, The Police, Pink Floyd, Judas Priest, Deep Purple and other bands from the late sixties and seventies. These were the sounds played on the “rock” stations of my childhood. It helped having older sisters that listened to rock and roll too. Then I heard the sounds of Rush and my love for music exploded, especially anything with a harder sound to it; Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Ozzy, Dio, Van Halen, Scorpions, Motley Crue and others I am sure I forgot about.

At this point you could say I was a heavy metal rock and roll fan. Although, I did have some experience with a few punk bands like the Dead Kennedys thanks to Benji, I started collecting my own records of all my favorite bands that I mentioned above. Then it happened in what seemed like a wrinkle in time. One of my friends bought a compilation called “Metal Massacre I” and when the needle reached the last song on the album my life changed forever. It was a song called “Hit The Lights” by a band called Metallica. We had never heard anything as raw, gritty, and powerful. These guys seemed to defy the laws of everything traditional. My life would never be the same.

That was the moment that sent me deep into creating the soundtrack of my life. Ranging from thrash, speed, black, death, British, new, prog and everything in between. I had a draw to the fast, heavy, and raw sounds of metal and punk and the melodic foundation of good old rock and roll and blues. These bands did their own thing. They didn’t follow the rules of the status quo. They didn’t even seem to follow the rules of musical composition. They did what they wanted to do, and it somehow worked. And, I liked that.

The question is, “did rock n roll, and music in general, turn me into a rebel or simply awaken the rebel within?” I don’t know for sure, but music has always been my greatest love and for forty years now I have followed the beat of what I love most. Perhaps it is the creative composition of the music, the attitude, the energy, the emotion, and the power of the scene. Or, maybe it is just part my makeup and the music just enhances and brings to life what is already there.

What I can say for certain is that whatever the cause the result has been a life long journey of doing what I do and defying the laws of tradition as I do it. I just never did well following rules and being forced to color within the lines. From creating my own music to creating my own recipes, I choose to do it my own way and join the crusade of the brave.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

The End Part 17: I Guess I’ll Be An Artist

“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” ― Richard Branson

To be more specific about the title, I will just become a drawer of some sort. Why? Simply because is it back to the drawing board for Go-Go Babyz. After six months or more of negotiations with the buyer they have decided to back out. It’s a bit frustrating and deflating but that is how it goes sometimes with a negotiation of this nature.

I have made the decision to just accept it. I do not have the time, energy, or desire to be angry or resentful. The only part that really bothers me is the time spent on this negotiation. Time is the most valuable, non-renewable resource. They said yes to purchase the business pretty early in the process and the majority of the time was spent negotiating the terms. I really had no reason to think that they would back out. If that was naive, so be it. The best I can do is learn from the experience and move on.

The truth is that I can’t blame them for their reason. They said that they have other big projects and plans that they are currently working on and this would really just be a distraction. I can respect that. There have been several times in the history of Go-Go Babyz that we squirreled off the path with projects that diverted us from our core business. Many of these detours seemed like good ideas at the time, presenting future potential but the result was a lot of hard work for very little reward or contribution to the bottom line, if any at all. At the end of the day, the bottom line is really what matters because that is what determines whether or not you are actually in business. Unless, of course, you are one of those businesses that seem to have an endless reserve of cash to burn. I can assure you that we are not one of those.

Perhaps the greatest lesson that has come from running business over the last two decades has been the ability to find the lessons in mistakes. There will always be wasted time, mistakes made, money lost, etc, but if I can look back at each experience and find the pearls to carry forward, is any of it really a waste? I can assure you that there have been many times that I spent much too much time, money, and effort on things that became flops. I can also assure you that the duration of these mistakes have become shorter over the years. I have become better at knowing when to say when. Maybe they can be expensive lessons but if they make me better at what I do that is a good thing right?

An example is that I now go into these situations or projects with a better structured strategy. The most important part of the strategy is the exit plan. It doesn’t have to be a very detailed or sophisticated plan. I simply have to say we are going to do “x” with the expectation of “y” as the result. If “y” doesn’t happen by “a” time or after “b” money is invested, we are out.  That’s it. That thinking provides some parameters and the details of the strategy provide the framework for the plan of action and the rules to operation.  The stop point is clearly spelled out so there is no excuse if the hemorrhaging begins and a decision isn’t made to stop it.

That said, another very important lesson is to be flexible. Flexibility must be woven into your strategy and decision making process. For example, If you do not reach the goal of “y” within the parameters of “a” or “b” but there is something that indicates “y” is just around the corner then push out the parameters a bit. Not too much, but a little bit to ride the tide to see which way it goes.  One must remember that we cannot predict the future so the stop points in our strategy can be off. They are really just markers to keep us on track. Therefore, we need that flexibility.

In retrospect, take those so called mistakes and turn them into assets to make you better and stronger moving forward.  Remember, hindsight is 20/20. If Sir Richard says it is alright to fall over, then fall over now and again if it makes you better.  The past is the past and it doesn’t have to repeat itself if we learn from it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some drawing to do.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

To Defy The Laws Of Tradition Part 1: What does it all mean?

“To defy the laws of tradition. It’s a crusade only of the brave.” – Les Claypool, Primus

What does it mean to be brave? What are traditions? What are the laws of tradition?  What is a crusade? How does one defy the laws of tradition? These are the questions running through my head when I read the opening quote. I guess to answer those questions literally I have to break each word down and define them. Not on my own, of course, there are dictionaries for that. Let me take them in the order they appear in the quote from this fine Primus song…

Defy – verb

1: to confront with assured power of resistance
2: to resist attempts at
3: to challenge to do something considered impossible

Law – noun

1: a binding custom or practice of a community: a rule of conduct or action prescribed or formally recognized as binding or enforced by a controlling authority

Tradition – noun

1a: an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior

1b: a belief or story or a body of beliefs or stories relating to the past that are commonly accepted as historical though not verifiable

Crusade – noun

1: a remedial enterprise undertaken with zeal and enthusiasm

Brave – noun

1: one with mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty: one who is brave

Brave – adjective

1: having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty: having or showing courage

Great. Now that I know what all these words mean let me attempt to answer the questions being spun by the squirrels in my head.

What does it mean to be brave?

The dictionary defines it pretty well but I like simplicity so I will say it means to be courageous.

What are traditions?

Again, the definition above is pretty clear I will just add for the context of this article, a standard way or method of doing things.

What are the laws of tradition?

I will interpret this as the rules or guidelines that govern an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior as commonly accepted by a group or body of people.

What is a crusade?

For simplicity, let’s just call it a passionate mission.

Now, what does this have to do with anything and why am I thinking about it? Besides that fact that I am gearing up to see Primus tomorrow for the first time in years, I have been thinking a lot about the what, how, and why I cook, bake, and create as of late. The business is in transition right now. We are getting ready to expand into a production kitchen and we have been experimenting with a variety of desserts to create a menu for the new kitchen.

During this process it came to me that I like to take traditional desserts or dishes and put my own twist on them. Not always just minor twists. Some are reconstructing the entire recipe, essentially making a new and different recipe all together.

I don’t do this to be unique or different, necessarily. Oftentimes I simply do this out of laziness. I don’t want to have to keep looking at a recipe. That involves getting the recipe and continuing to reference it while I am cooking. That just breaks up my flow and continuity. I would much rather commit it to memory or create my own version that I memorize. He latter is the result of the rebellious side of me that wants to do things my way and defy the laws of tradition.

This has been a theme throughout my life and is just part of my nature and the way in which I am wired. Sometimes it works out and other times it completely backfires. At the end of the day it is much more exciting to me and nourishing for my soul to create. Whether it’s a recipe, a blog post, a logo, or anything in between I am much happier living in the creative space. It is often about the creative process rather than the finished product.

Stay tuned as I go through my start up and life escapades answering what it means to defy the laws of tradition. I bet you thought I forgot about that last question and was just rambling on and on talking “the balls off a rhinosaurus” didn’t you? Call me bizarre…see you next time.

Psst! I wrap up the End series in a few weeks. We are getting close to finalizing a deal.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

The End Part 16: Dance With Me

“Either run the day or the day runs you.” – Jim Rohn

Selling is a game. Selling is a dance. Or so I have been told by the wise ones that have come before me. The sales negotiation process is a dance between the buyer and the seller. The goal is to always be the lead and control the situation. That sometimes means letting the other party think they are in the lead and controlling the deal. That is where the opening quote come is; you either run the sales dance or the dance controls you. That means control the deal or the other party wins. Unless, of course, the deal is a win-win for all parties involved. I have also been told by some wise ones that there is no such thing as a win-win, but that is a discussion for another time.

Let me be frank; I don’t like this dance. I am not much of a dancer as it is. The most “dancing” I’ve done was in mosh pits at concerts. I don’t think the violent nature would be good in this application. I simply do not like the back and forth, the half truths, the waiting, the deflection of responsibility, and so on. No one wants to make a decision or assume responsibility for their side of the table. They always have to go back and talk to “someone” that cannot ever seem to leave their office and join the dance. My father in law calls this person the “wizard in the back.”

In our present dance, I think their wizard is their lawyer. This wizard has been sitting in the back without providing more information for too long. I’m tired of slow dancing, let’s pick up the pace. Maybe that’s the old mosher in me talking but it’s time “run the day!” They have had us sitting in uncomfortable silence for too long. So, we pushed back and took back the lead. We want to know if we are moving forward or moving on. Hopefully, we make some progress this week.

This process has brought up an important lesson that I have learned running businesses the past couple decades; hire people that make you and your business better. As the boss or owner I always wanted to be better or smarter than those that worked for me. That just results in a team of less-thans. That is not good for growth and progress. Not to mention furthering my skills and knowledge. It is best to bring on people that have skills and knowledge in areas I lack. For example, I do not like sales and I am not that great at negotiations, therefore, I want to add people to my team that are better than I in those areas. Following this strategy builds a strong team that is rich with diverse skills. 

The great ones throughout history know that they don’t know it all. They know they become better and stronger by the people they surround themselves with not by doing everything by themselves on a lonely throne. They create a dance team that can take over any dance floor.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

The End Part 15: The Doors of Perception

“Communication breakdown, it’s always the same
Havin’ a nervous breakdown, a-drive me insane” – Robert Plant, Led Zeppelin

Business is about relationships. That is the bottom line. It really doesn’t matter if you sweep the floors or head the board, everything leads back to relationships. All relationships, whether personal or professional, require communication of some form or another. In my experience, good relationships are built on good communication.

Seems simple, right? My experience also teaches me that it is not always that easy. In fact, it can be one of the hardest parts of any relationship. Communication provides information for all sides of a relationship. We, as rational and sentient creatures, use the information that we have to make decisions, formulate opinions, and take actions. Information is not created equal but our minds will do with it what it will based on what have access to or have been provided at the time.

It’s a pretty simple equation; bad information = bad thoughts and opinions and bad thoughts/opinions = bad decisions and actions. Simple equation but hard to follow. Why? Because we do not always know that the information we have is incorrect or limited. How many times have you been given some information that was not the entire story? Did you form an opinion or even take an action based on the information that you later regretted? I think we have all done that. I bet most of us have even looked back in hindsight after receiving the “rest of the story” and realized that we would have taken a different course of action had we had all the information at the time.

The real questions is have we learned from these lapses in judgment? Have we learned to verify the information we have before making major a decision and saying or doing things we later regret? I have. Don’t get wrong, I am not saying I do this all the time but more often than not, I pause and take time to evaluate the information and situation before I react. This allows me to respond accordingly. I must admit I have only learned this by doing the wrong thing over and over.

In the last part I discussed how the prospective buyers had gone silent. That led us to think they lost interest. Further, that one of the main communicators in this deal on our side had pushed a bit too hard and closed the door. The reality was there was a miscommunication. We thought one thing and they thought another. They were waiting on something from us and we were for something from them. We were locked in a holding pattern on different pages. The good news is we cleared things up and got back on the same page and have moved closer to finalizing a deal.

Communication is the key. Without having good information, or providing good information, the human mind is left to fill in the empty spaces. In my experience, I have often filled those spaces with “worst case” type of information. That usually does not end well for any party involved. If you want to build something great in business or your personal life, focus on your relationships and strengthen them with good communication.

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live

The End Part 14: The Sound of Silence

“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” – Author Unknown

The riddle makes me wonder if a door shuts and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Strange thing to think about, right?

The potential buyer of Go-Go Babyz has gone quiet for about a week now. A little disconcerting because things were moving along well for a couple weeks. I hope a door has not been shut because the default reaction to the sounds of silence for my over active mind to fill the void with noise. I don’t do well in silence so I create thoughts, scenarios, outcomes, rhymes, reasons; you name it, to fill the empty space in my mind. Unfortunately, they are not usually good.

This could just be a negotiating tactic. Retreat to silence, go dark, ghost the other party; however you want to label it, the tactic is quite common and effective. It makes the other party, in this case me, a bit unsettled. It is working.

The key is to not let fear set its hook. When the hook is set the result is often poor decisions and bad behavior. It is easy to react when this happens but that will serve no one. Except maybe the other party if they end up with more leverage in the negotiating process. I do not want that so I need to practice patience and trust. This is not a small deal. These types of deals take time and happen in the background to life and normal business operations.

There is a grace period in these types of situations. Ten days is a good number. The lead person on their side could be on vacation, could be sick, or could be traveling for business overseas, just to name a few.

As I said above, I don’t do well in silence. I also don’t well sitting still or when other things are idle. Like projects or deals. I want movement and progress. I want to know that things are getting done and moving in the direction I want them to. Learning to deal with this has been a process over the last twenty years of running businesses. Early in my career I would fill the empty spaces with negativity, creating worst case scenarios. All this would do is rile me up and create a lot of fear, anxiety, and anger. That is a bad recipe for me. I make poor decisions, both personally and professionally under such conditions.

Over the years I have become better and creating comfortable silence. I do this by practicing acceptance and being patient. I do not try to fill the empty spaces as often, I let them be. They will be filled naturally as thing progress. I do this with three main practices that I have learned over the years. The first is mediation. This discipline helps me clear my mind and build my stamina for silence. It helps me to be more at peace and accepting of the natural timing of things. I think, feel, and act better when I regularly practice meditation. Even if only for five minutes a day.

The second is writing. That is exactly what I am doing now with this series. Not only do I hope my story and experience will help others, but it helps me get the mess out of my head. That does three main things. Number one it takes the power out of the crazy thoughts I create. Number two, it makes some sense out the mess. And three, it creates space for positive thoughts to enter. I know it sounds cheesy but it works.

The third is the mental exercise of trading places. I try to put myself in the other party’s place. That helps me to see things from their side. Quite often I will realize that they are doing exactly what I would in their position. Of course, I can never know exactly why, but it helps to see things from more than one position.

So, I will sit in comfortable silence and go about my normal business…

For a few more days that is, because the grace period is almost up!

Talk Soon,

Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator

You have to leap if you want to live