“At the center of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want.”
― Lao Tzu
Do you know who you are? Do I even know who I am? This entire series has danced around that topic. At least part it. That topic is really just an invitation to discover the greater part of the iceberg below the surface. In this series I focused on the things that occupy most of the space in my brain.
What occupies my brain is really a surface level topic, not the center of my being. However, the journey to the center must start somewhere. I feel the brain is as good a place as any. Looking deeply at what occupies my brain and really seeking to understand and answer the questions the brain eaters conjure will lead me to the center. The real questions and answers are there.
Have I found the right questions to ask? Have I found the answers? Have I listened to the answers? Do I know who I am? Do I know what I want? How does my scorecard look today?
I believe self discovery and growth is a life long journey. I have felt many times throughout my life that I had discovered who I am and what I want, later to discover I was wrong or that there was more to it than I thought at the time. Looking back I have realized that early on I might have been wrong some of the time but as I have moved forward and honestly sought the truth, it was more a matter of peeling layers. We are a complex species and it seems that more will always be revealed as we progress through life.
At this point in my life I do believe I know who I am. Will I learn more? Absolutely, I am a firm believer that once we stop learning our purpose in this life is done. Even after we become the teacher there is more to learn.
So where do I stand today? What is the score? How am I doing? This really could be a long and deep conversation which is better left for another time. Instead I will focus on how I am doing within the context of what I have discussed throughout this series.
The questions then become:
Am I keeping the brain eaters contained?
Am I staying focused, present, and calm amidst the chaos in my brain?
Am I doing the things that are good for me that help manage the brain eaters?
Am I…? See, there the brain eaters go getting carries away.
The most important lesson I have learned about self awareness, self discovery, and self evaluation is that there are no wrong answers if answered honestly. Nothing counts but honesty as you are only lying to yourself.
I am doing better about managing the chaos in my brain. I am not taking it out on others and I am not trying to do everything. I am focusing on just a few things and trying to do better at each.
I would love to say that I am doing great with the four things that help me most; writing, talking, exercising, and meditating. I do them all but the truth is, the quantity of each has dropped off a bit since taking over the pie shop a year ago. I need to find a way to put more time and effort in to each because they really do make a huge difference in the quality of my life.
The two that I have been able to do the most are writing and talking. Journal writing, not creative writing is what I have been able to do every day. Just writing things out helps to get them out my head. It takes some of the food away from the bran eaters and takes some of the power away from the thoughts. I do hope to create more time for the creative writing as it produces a very similar result. Talking things out with another person has really increased over the last six to nine months and has been very helpful. Sharing with another person helps get different, unbiased perspective on everything. It is very hard to calm the chaos with the same mind that created it.
In conclusion, I have been able to mitigate the damage caused by my bran eaters but I definitely need to put a few more points on the board for Kevin. My goal is to carve a bit more time for all of these things but focus more on quality instead of quantity since my time is limited.
How’s your scorecard looking?
Talk Soon,
Kevin W. @Leap272
Owner – Operator
You have to leap if you want to live.
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