” We’ve got nothing to fear but fear itself.” – Neil Peart / Gary Lee / Alex Zivojinovich, RUSH
There are all different kinds of brain eaters; some are negative and some are positive. Life is full of the good, the bad, and the ugly and so is my head. I prefer to get the bad and the ugly out of the way first. I call these the mind killers; fear, judgment, and resentment. As you read those three words I am sure you can think of more that you can add to the list. Of course, I can too, but I am distilling them all down to the core or root of each one. We can often put different labels on our thoughts and actions but if we really peel the layers and get to the core, many of them belong in the same bucket.
Are any of these words worse than the other? I think that really depends on who you ask, and probably when you ask them. Some people might have stronger opinions on one than the other. Others might be impacted themselves by one more than the other, and yet another person’s mind might be more consumed by one than another. In my experience they all seem to feed the other but throughout my life, fear and resentment have been in a constant title match for the belt. I think fear might have squeezed by and pulled out the victory.
That said, I will start at the bottom of my mind with judgment. Judgment used to occupy a large part of my mind. Every time I entered a new environment or someone entered mine I started judging. I would start picking them apart, sizing them up, and assassinating their character. I would do this for both people I knew and didn’t know. As I have grown older and, hopefully wiser, I no longer practice judgment like I used to. I have learned to accept people for who they are; including myself whom is often the hardest person to be non-judgmental about. When I assess my own judgments of others, they are usually based on my pride or ego. I am feeling insecure, less than, or judged myself so I judge others to bring myself up. I think it is human nature and our natural instinct for survival and security to assess and evaluate our environments. I believe judgment is simply taking that natural instinct to an extreme.
Resentment rears its ugliness in so many ways, disguised with so many masks. Sometimes subtle and sometimes intense, but always negative. Outward anger or rage is obviously negative, but the quiet, subtle bitterness, indignation, animosity, hatred and the like are often hard to detect and see their full scope of damage. It is often that quiet festering that leads to the loud or violent outbursts. That has been my experience with resentment. In the past I have allowed it to fester, almost receiving a twisted satisfaction from the silent scorn. In the end if not dealt with and erased those outbursts would come and were never fun. But my mind is the great manipulator. As resentment eats my brain I allow it to grow and fester and I find a way to justify it all.
The root of it all in my own mind is fear. Fear is the one with many names and faces. Whether we call it worry, doubt, fright, terror, panic, dread, to name a few, it grips us and takes control. Brain eaters feed on fear and fear feeds resentment and judgment. Once fear takes control the vicious cycle begins. When I am resentful or judgmental, I usually discover that it is really fear masquerading about. Something externally has tapped an internal fear and has been projected outward as anger or judgment. This is after the fact, of course, as I analyze and process everything. Have you ever walked into a strange room, afraid of what the people might think? Afraid they will judge you, so you instantly go on the defense and start judging them? That judgment is justified because your fear has convinced you they are judging you, and thus you become resentful; a big, ugly cycle.
The voices of fear, resentment, and judgment feed my mind like the devil on my shoulder; these are the three negative brain eaters that occupy my mind. Not as much as they used to because I have found ways to deal with them as they crop up (stick around for the entire series to learn how I do so). I no longer allow fear to consume me to the point that it takes my mind and body hostage. I no longer allow resentment to fester and dictate my behavior. I no longer allow judgment to be my first line of defense. Do I still fear, resent, and judge? Absolutely, I am human.
Today I try not to allow them to eat my brain and control my thoughts and actions. Nor do I deny or justify them, I simply acknowledge them and do what is necessary to clear my mind and work through them.
And, when the brain eaters start to gain control, I stop feeding them and I write it out or I grab a coffee with a friend, mentor, or coach and share the secret and sort it out because the brain eaters’ biggest weapon is isolation.
Talk Soon,
Kevin W. @Leap272
Owner – Operator
You have to leap if you want to live.
LeapBlog 