“If there is any immortality to be had among us human beings, it is certainly only in the love that we leave behind. Fathers like mine don’t ever die.” –Leo Buscaglia
Here we are again. I Hope you have enjoyed this series so far. The writing of it has been bitter sweet. I do enjoy writing and it is a form of release and It is therapeutic and rewarding but it can also be painful, especially a topic such as this. It’s not easy to write about your recently deceased dad. Conjuring memories and madness, but again, it does help with the grieving process.
I only have one dad, so this is a first for me. I am told that it never goes away, it just gets easier. I sure hope so! Gets easier that is. If it went away then I might think there is something wrong with me and that maybe my dad wasn’t all that great after all.
What do I mean by that? First let me tell you what I don’t mean. That is that he will live on in our hearts. He will always be available to talk to him whenever I need him. I can visit him any time I want, just close my eyes and visualize it. You know the cheesy things people say in an effort to comfort and console. Maybe it’s all true, I actually hope it is.
What I really mean is, however, that if it all goes away; the pain, the memories, the sadness, and the madness, then what did he leave me? What did he teach me? What was his legacy? The things I have been discussing previously?
Yes. The life lessons he taught me; Compassion, gratitude, and service. These are the principles he taught me. How to practice them is what he left me. How to use them to do and be better is his legacy. Practicing them to the best of my ability is one way I can honor him.
So the question is, am I doing that? Have I learned his lessons? Am I honoring my dad? Am I maintaining his legacy? Isn’t this what any son truly wants? To make his dad proud? To be all he can be in the eyes of his dad?
I do know my dad was proud of me. He told me so. I asked him on his death bed. I needed to know this so I asked. My dear friend who had already lost his dad told me to make sure there is nothing left unsaid. Make sure you are good and free, no regrets, no questions. I did that. No regrets.
The question then becomes am I honoring him? Am I honoring and carrying on his legacy? At the time I am writing this it is hard to answer that. It is all so fresh, barely over a month and I am still in the initial grieving phase. Besides, what I have been taught by both my parents is that life is a classroom, and I have a lot a life to live. In other words, I have a lot to learn still.
They also taught that all I can do is my best. So what I can say is that if I get up each day try to practice what I have learned and try to do and be better today than I was yesterday, then I will be honoring my dad and his legacy.
The best chance I have at dong that is connecting the dots he left; connecting the lessons, connecting the principles and implementing them. Because compassion, gratitude, and service are powerful individually but connected and practiced together, they are amazing. I know because I have seen it in action.
By trying my best to do that others will see that and hopefully learn to connect the dots themselves and I will be honoring my dad’s legacy and creating my own. Each generation strives to improve upon the previous and break the negative cycles and strive to do and be better. My hope is I can do for my children what my dad did for me.
I hope I can be a teacher and an example of how to live and walk my talk. I hope I am more than just a father. I hope I am a dad of dads. I hope I can help them connect the dots.
My hope is that I can do that for you as well. If all this series does for you is help make your grieving easier, I will have succeeded. Anything else is just a bonus!
Wow, that sounds a bit like conclusion. It’s not, just the end of the big three I wanted to talk about. I mean if my dad only taught me three things all these years well then, I might have more questions for him.
So, don’t go anywhere just yet, there’s more coming.
Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator
You have to leap if you want to live
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