“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” –George Herbert
Remember where we left off last time? I ask this often because I myself tend to forget. My thoughts come and go so fast I can forget what we were discussing five minutes ago! I do remember last time however. I closed with the following questions..
What did my dad do?
Why did I proclaim he was the dads of dads?
So, I already discussed the basics. The “fatherly” duties, for the ones that are around that are to provide the food, the clothing, the shelter, the protection, etc. The basics to ensure the offspring survive.
What made him a great dad? There are so many things that he did for me and that he taught me It is hard to try and focus it all and put it into words. It is especially hard to do now that he is gone. There is so much reflection happening right now. There are so many emotions and so many memories. There are things I had forgotten or didn’t even realize until now, discovered in moments of reflections or conversations with family. An old picture jogs a memory from what seems a lifetime ago. It reminds me of something he did or said and I realize at that moment he was teaching me something.
So, I will probably break this part of the series up into a few topics. In this one I will focus on compassion. I must address two things before I continue, however. Number one, I must again reiterate that my parents were partners. They were a team and, for the most part, worked together. They worked together to raise us and teach us they best they could. I am focusing on my dad now because of his death.
Number two, I want to look at the meaning of compassion. Here are a couple definitions.
Compassion: noun
Oxford:
Sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.
Merriam-Webster:
sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it
Similar definitions from these two dictionaries but I prefer the latter. I also think that it describes my dad better. If you knew him, watched him, or heard him speak, you could see he had a need and a desire to help people that hurt, especially, alcoholics and addicts.
At an early age I was often a witness to my dad helping others. Helping people that appeared to me were less fortunate. When I was young, I didn’t quite grasp the totality of it all. I knew right from wrong, for the most part and I knew when you did something nice you got the warm fuzzies, but I didn’t grasp the need or desire part of the definition above. That is what struck me most when I look back and reflect. The desire and need he seemed to have to help others and alleviate their distress. I just didn’t get it when I was young but the seed was planted.
Those with kids understand far too well the ultimate youthful question; “WHY?” I do remember asking why in some of these situations, although I do not recall the precise answers or if he even stated that it was the right thing to do, but I did get that impression or feeling.
So, I was a wonderfully giving and compassionate child, right? Ha! No I was quite the opposite. I was a child; selfish and self-centered. Of course, I cared for others, and I didn’t want to see people hurt and I was kind and considerate, sometimes at least, but I was a child. I think the former is simply part of a child’s nature. I do think we have the gifts like compassion in us already, but it takes a teacher and experience to foster and cultivate them in order to develop them and really bring them out.
That is what my dad was, a teacher. In this case he taught me compassion. I didn’t always get the lesson right away, or for decades, perhaps, but he was always teaching whether intentionally or not He truly practiced what he preached and walked his talk. The greatest part of that is he stumbled and fell as well and didn’t hide it; a great teacher indeed. He provided the lessons, the knowledge, and the examples and it was there for my taking and application when I was ready.
Now I have had many teachers of compassion over the years. I was given lesson after lesson by the examples of others throughout my life. The knowledge was now there for the taking once I was ready. Isn’t that how education works? We are filled with all kinds of knowledge and information. Sometimes we put it to work right away and other times we file it somewhere in the dusty corners of our brain. At some point down the road it rises from the depths, we have those “Aha moments” and we put it to use.
For the teachers.
For the aha moments.
The lesson of compassion.
I am grateful!
That is a good topic, and another principle I learned from my dad.
Let’s talk about that next time.
Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator
You have to leap if you want to live
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