“Any man can be a Father it takes someone special to be a Dad.” – Anonymous
Last time I ended with my dad’s fatherly duties and closed with…”And yet, he did so much more…”
So what does that mean and what exactly did he do? The bottom line is anyone can be a father. Anyone man with working parts that is. But not every father can be a dad. Of course, this then begs the question, “what is a dad?” Or, “what does it mean to be a dad?” Upon answering, or attempting to answer these questions It will inevitably conjure more questions, especially, “How to be a dad?” The question of HOW can lead the discussion in so many directions. For the sake of context and brevity, I will stick to the “whats” for this piece. Maybe the process of answering the “whats” will inspire a piece on the “whys” but for now, let’s answer the “whats. “
Let me start by looking at some definitions from a couple dictionaries.
FATHER
Merriam-Webster:
Father noun:
(1): a male parent
(2): a man who has begotten a child also: a male animal who has sired an offspring
Urban Dictionary
(1): a man in relation to his natural child or children.
(2): The man who raises you as his own feeding and teaching you.
DAD
Merriam-Webster:
(1): dad noun: a male parent: father sense
Urban Dictionary
(1): A father who his child can rely on. He hugs and jokes and treats his family with respect, caring for the child, making sure that they want to live and keep them from harm from others and their selves. He listens to his child, he cares for their interests and never laughs at their mistakes. He understands his child’s dream and ambitions and would go out of his way to help them reach this. He never puts money at a higher importance, and knows that he cannot buy love. Above all, he will not hurt his daughter.
(2): The true man in your life that is there for you. Your Dad may also be your Father but your Father may not be your Dad. Your Dad loves you, comforts you, supports you and helps you. Your Dad is someone that you should be able to respect (even if at times you don’t show it).
Wow! The Urban Dictionary has quite a definition. Obviously, a traditional dictionary is very literal as seen in the first definition. Simple and literal – a dad is the male parent of a child. That is literally correct, isn’t it? But meaning goes beyond definition. Meaning elevates to a different level, a deeper level.
Now look at the definitions from the Urban Dictionary. Each definition for dad is a paragraph! The “male parent” aspect is not even addressed in definition 1. These definitions describe more what it means to be a dad. Now, instead of dissecting all the above, I will just jump in what it means to me.
At the most basic level, I believe that a dad must be invested. There must be a larger investment than his swimmers that swam to the egg. That investment includes emotions, time, and effort, just to name a few. For me, it boils down to this very simple working definition or meaning…
A dad is a man that is fully invested in his child’s life.
I know, I hear you. What does it mean to be “fully invested?” I define it as being all in – mind, body, and spirit. A dad is emotionally, physically, and spiritually invested. They are present and participate in their child’s life. Does this mean that if one does not or cannot do this they are a bad dad? Absolutely not!
For the sake of this meaning, I proclaim there is no bad dad. The meaning of dad, for me, is intrinsically good. Therefore, there is no bad dad because in order to be a dad you have to be good. Are all dads created equal? Of course not, so some dads are better than others.
We men don’t just father a child and instantly become great dads. Sure there are naturals, but there’s a learning curve. We try our best, we make mistakes but we learn and grow. We have good days and we have bad days. Sometimes we are all in some areas and not in others but we strive to be better and do better. We strive to find the balance in each area and be THERE for our child. That is the difference. A dad is there for his child and that is what makes a dad a dad.
So, what a does a dad do?
When their child asks, he teaches…
When their child needs, he provides…
When their child wants, he tries…
When their child fears, he comforts…
When their child laughs, they laugh…
When their child cries, they cry…
When their child hurts, they hurt…
When their child plays, he plays…
When their son becomes a father…
He shows him how to be a dad.
So, what did my dad do? Why did I proclaim him as the dad of dads? Let’s hit that question next time.
Talk Soon,
Kevin W @LEAP272
Owner-Operator
You have to leap if you want to live
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